caged birds will fly

Some people see life as a game,
others see it as purgatory,
fewer see it as a great adventure,
sometimes just out of reach.

I see life as a puzzle.

One big piece being love.
I consider love a theatrical play.

We set the stage
we rehearse our parts.

and my greatest fear in life,
the one thing that makes me most anxious
in the short 23 years I've been here
is that when my part comes
I will walk out to an empty stage
and be completely humiliated in
front of

e v e r y o n e.

A relationship being the public stage of my life
the one place where I can't control what the other actor
does or doesn't do.
Where I don't know what will and won't work out.

On this platform I've trusted so few.
Meticulously choosing cast members
and setting up cues.
At first I hold tight to only expecting the worst.

Then some time passes and I feel
that maybe this act is for real
and maybe this other actor is just as scared as I am.
If he has stuck around long enough,
I'll start to unwind and let the roles unfold and develop
as life flows in waves.

I begin to hope and bloom into a
real cast member, I start investing
my heart and soul.

To just scrape the surface,
after 4 1/2 years I ran out to take my cue
and found myself standing alone on the stage.

The thing I've feared the most for so long

I survived and quite frankly
I was wrong all along.

I was afraid of looking like an embarrassingly silly and naive girl.

Maybe I do look that way to some but so far no one has let me know
and what's so embarrassing about caring deeply for someone?

Honestly nothing.
Loving someone well even if it doesn't turn out as planned
still makes you a beautiful person inside and out.

There's very little loss in loving someone the best you possibly can.

So the next play I star in will be a little less anxious
and a lot more free.



In September my Dad was showing me pictures from their vacation.
Each day he took a picture of the sunrise and during the slide show he said:

And the sun rose on that day too.

Maybe it's where my heart and mind has been lately
but him saying that startled me.

I literally wanted to dissolve then and there.
I have been through the darkest of times lately
and to notice something so simple and so simply taking for granted
really encouraged me.

A constant.

Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of lights
with whom there is variation or shadow due to change.
James 1:17

Obviously my Dad has no idea how dramatically that statement affected me.



I learned something new about myself today.

My life is in the midst of some chaos totally out of my control
but for the first time in years I am independent.
I find a lot of comfort in that.

I realized I'm much more comfortable with change
when I'm independent.

Then I realized
I am my fracking grandmother.

{This is finally a good thing in my eyes}


changing pace and direction

Things for me have changed directions
so rapidly and frequently the past few months
my heart has had a serious case of whiplash.

What can I say without saying too much?

I'm really excited with everything I was able to do this year.
I grew in a lot of ways.
I had the amazing opportunity to pour full time attention
into my passion.
I didn't get very far and I wobbled all along the way.

This opportunity has closed up for now.
I need to work
and focus more on family oriented things.
Because of this I had to give up volunteering weekly
which was the hardest.

In addition my machine has gone to sewing heaven
so I will be unable to produce any bags
until I manage to get another or am gifted one (!!! Wouldn't that be spectacular?).

I hope to be apart of creating awareness for those in need
all around us everyday.
How ridiculous is it that people go hungry in this nation?
This absolutely boggles my mind.

While I can't be a resource for everyone
I encourage you to look around online for opportunities
in your neighborhood.
It isn't difficult to get plugged in
and it is something that will bless you as much as
it helps those in need.

Sign up for your local rescue mission's newsletter!
Host a food drive in your neighborhood!
Help collect coats for those less fortunate this winter!
Ask the guests of your holiday parties to bring canned goods!

I mean seriously why not?

I know in everyday there are MANY distractions and it's easy to forget
about everyone except the person in the mirror.

But here's what I'm learning to be true:
Life, it goes on, with or without you.

Get involved in the triangle:

Tirnanog is hosting a benefit concert for RRM on Oct 28th at 10pm
(bring canned goods or donations!)

Get involved elsewhere:
Also try looking up your cities food banks and rescue missions.

Wake up! Do something worthwhile.



I've been busy.



I took this before going to a luau themed party last night.
My real camera has once again wandered off.

Recently I've learned:
- My gentleman prefers blondes
- Maxi dresses are an effective man repellent/birth control. Is this universally true? Do all men hate "homeschool" dresses?
In my experience it seems to hold true.
- Free sushi is a rip off. Should've known.
- Never go home early, you might just miss your friends doing the chicken dance on stage.


bee arr bee etsy

flower mash the store is on a little break due to a few technical difficulties.
The store will be back soon with brand new bags!
So go make some pretty grilled cheese like I did the other day.

I'm still trying to figure out how to do a tattoo post without it being too risque.
What if my Grandma sees this y'all?


water cocktail

I made mint & lime water last week.
It was pretty awesome.
I'll probably make it in a separate pitcher next time and not the BRITA pitcher.
I didn't want to use this water for my coffee, so I had to use tap water.

I made burritos with:
TJ's frozen roasted corn
TJ's frozen peppers and onions
vegetarian refried beans and a lot of cheese, lettuce, sour cream and salsa.

Finally, I made a new clutch for myself.
I accidently melted one side of the flower netting with my iron.
I realized it before I ruined the entire bag, thank goodness.



My sister the hairstylist, is turning 21 on Friday!
I bought her the yellow shears necklace from DeMuerte Handmade Jewelry.
I absolutely love the necklace and so does she!
I gave it to her on Sunday because I won't see her again before her birthday.
If you like vintage inspired, trendy charms and lacy dainty designs
definitely check out DeMuerte.

On Sunday I put together a pretty nice looking spread.
Unfortunately, my camera has been M.I.A., so I have no photographic evidence of the food.
You will just have to trust me that I actually had my Dad over for Father's Day and that I fed everyone well.

Here are the recipes, so you can make a mental picture ok?
I used two recipes to figure out how to make ceviche
I also made guacamole.

So there you have it.


I love LeeLee

I recently modeled for my new favorite line: LeeLee Bredenburg.
The shirts are currently available at Modcloth.
It was such a good time and I really do adore the designs!
I can't wait to see what else LeeLee has in store for the fashion world.

I was hoping to put up some new listing on etsy today,
but my camera was commandeered by none other than Mr. F.
Oh well.

I'm prepping tons of food for Father's day.
I'm having him and the kids (my siblings) over for a pool party!

What are your Father's day plans?

Have an awesome weekend!

P.S. Changing my hair next week!



I want to do something similar to this on my head.




My nesting dolls are just as bright as they were when I got them in 2007.
I think this has something to do with the fact that they see very little sunlight.
Thinking about doing a tattoo post soon.

Do you have any tattoos?

P.S. Preview news bags 1 and 2.



I love this scarf from Libery of London for Target.

I want to buy everything from this line.


Kay Nielson

Kay Nielson is one of my favorites.

Kind of art nouveau, dreamy, psychedelic, lush, sweet.
They are illustrations to get lost in.

When I was a little girl I loved the books that had intricately detailed drawings. I could place myself there, adding acres and acres of beautiful landscape in my imagination.
A diving board into an extremely lucid day dream.

{IMAGES: google TAPE: puglypixel}



More owl friends coming to flower mash soon!

Check out Polly, she's adorable!

Everyone should submit a Dinner photo to this week's extended COLLECTIVE5.
Do it!

Not sure how I just found out about this, but wow!

My #1 goal this month is to take. more. photos.
Summer is my favorite, I want to compulsively document it.

What is your goal for JUNE bug?


Pretty please

Freshly listed bags on flowermash.etsy.com!

More on their way soon.


Pine trees remind me that I'm home. I used think they were ugly. Now not so much.

Willows have always been a favorite of mine. I took this picture standing under the one that has taken over my Dad's yard.

There are people working on the water heater right now and it stinks like birthday candles in here.

I went camping this past weekend.
It was fun and bizarre.
What did you do for Memorial day?


super greens

My sister is phenomenal at hair dressing, no?
I love refreshing this color! It's like BAM!

I'm contemplating getting rid of facebook...
All the privacy controversy is worrisome.

Sewing a lot, a good healthy serving of bags is coming your way soon!

Also, we don't talk about the segway.



This year the local strawberries have been something to write home about.
My brother could barely stay still with this lady bug speed crawling up his arm.

I have caught the home decorating bug.
I'm making color schemes for rooms and picking out decor.
I love this list.


miss petal

Made this dainty clutch for the most motherly childless {for right now} woman I know.
It was her birthday.
I made her a personalized pillow years ago with the same fabric.
Purple is her favorite.
This lady's heart impresses me almost always, it is too big for her own good.

Isn't that the best type of person?


93 66

The temperature has been crazy inconsistent this summer.
Get it together east coast!

Working on new bags, hair color, photos, and my 'tude.

How have you been?


terminally chill

The sky looked hazardous the other night.
Painterly and hazardous.



My favorite hairstylist just happens to be my little sister.
I threaten her with fresh knuckle sandwiches if she tries to charge me.
Just kidding, Dad!


dear dress,

f21 dress

I wanted to love you, desperately.
You we're a little too transparent and I don't like wearing pasties.

In other news, how amazing is this fairy tale fabric?



This song always cheers me up and makes me so happy. ah!


I could eat caprese salad every single day.
I use spinach and dry basil instead of fresh basil.

Tonight I'm going to see The Love Language.


Valentina Design

Check out Valentina Romas. Her art is awesome and inspiring.



You know just hanging out in a cupcake apron, posing and reading recipes in the kitchen.
My counters are never that clean, as least they're photogenic.


good grief

My little work nook is my favorite place to hang out.

Now it is time to get out of the way and let the roomba do its thing.
I have a love/hate relationship with this robot.
In the words of my sister: It's a dang.

You ought to go heart flower mash, ok?



That hazy, green sheen today is neither fog or smog, it is pollen.

My options are allergy shots or the beach.

Road trip!



I covered this once boring camera strap.

I was inspired by seablanket's tutorial.

I kind of cheated, all I did was cover my old strap.



I used this recipe for delicious oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

1. 1/2c White sugar
2. 1 1/2c AP Flour
3. 2 "Eggs" (I use egg beaters)
4. 1c Packed light brown sugar
5. 3c Quick oats
6. 1c UNSALTED butter
7. 1c Semisweet chocolate chips
8. 2tsp Vanilla extract
9. 1tsp Salt
10. 1/2tsp Baking soda

Lay out all the measured ingredients beforehand.
This is super helpful for the skim reader, forgetful and/or ADD.

If your butter has salt in it, this recipe does not need the 1tsp salt.

I did not include the walnuts in this version so I added another 1/2 cup flour.

A few people who reviewed the recipe said that the cookies went flat.
I refrigerated the dough for a few minutes before and between batches.

Also don't over mix the batter this could cause measly, flat blobs of cookies.

I think I'll use dark chocolate chips next time.



I couldn't stop eating this cajun "crab" dip from harris teeter.
To make it a little healthier I topped it with a spinach leaf.

I have a cold.
The past few days have been salt water gargles, warm lemonade, and advil cold and sinus galore.



I have to level with you, ok?

Pepsi or GTFO.

This is how I know I'm southern, y'all.



Yum food imagery!

More pasta salad.
This time I added carrots and celery.
For the dressing I added:
2 tbs. olive oil
1 tbs. white wine vinegar
3 tbs. vidalia onion dressing
1 tps. lime juice
1/4 cup vegan mayo

Then several nights ago I made these pizza pinwheels for a somewhat intoxicated friend.
They end more like mini cheese bread, but I like them that way.
I made them again this week and documented it.

My pinwheels lacked pepperoni.
I added goat cheese, melted garlic butter and italian spices before baking.
Also I suggest sticking the rolls in the freezer for a minute before slicing.
Mr. F topped his wheels with meatballs.

So you could try that too, I suppose.